January 10, 2012
Yigal doesn’t forgive me for not being 17
Yigal doesn’t forgive me for not being 17. Every time we meet, his eyes tell me: “Shit, you’re not 17!”, and my eyes tell him: “Ah.. Yigal, don’t jump into conclusions… I simply had a terrible day today… Wait, wait… Next time we meet, you’ll see what a wonderful 17 year-old I will be!”
To Yigal, I was 17 for nine years. From age 13 to 22, which was the first time his eyes said “Shit!” to me… And my eyes told him: “No, Yigal, it’s simply a very stressful time… I am about to finish… then I will rest a bit and I will be 17 again”.
I remember the first time I was 17. I was 13 and we had just returned from the cotton. He looked at me suddenly and his eyes said: “Yes! Just like that! Don’t change! You’re so beautiful! So beautiful! Your beauty is the realization of everything we tried to achieve here! You justify our very existence in this place!”
When I was 28 years-old, his eyes said “A wedding? So how do you intend to be 17 now?” and my eyes told him: “No… Yigal… Look, he gives me stability… You know… Without stability I will have a very hard time being 17…”
A few years later, his eyes told me: “Pregnant? So how do you…?” and my eyes told him: “Come on, why are you making such a big deal of it? Two weeks after I give birth you won’t be able to notice anything on me!”
A few weeks after I gave birth for the third time, my eyes told him: “Yigal, why don’t you find some other girl? What about Itzik’s daughter?” “Rosenblum?”, said his eyes… “Well, OK.. she is really beautiful… but she doesn’t have your justification”.
And my eyes told him: “OK, Yigal! Give me a few days! They have a new cream now in the drugstore… It’s expensive, but I will go for it! You’ll see! Realization, justification, Zionism, Socialism and the Brotherhood of Nations!”
How hard can it be? After all, I have already been there!
But Yigal won’t forgive me for not being 17.